Understanding Gaslighting: Wetin e really be .
The term “Gaslighting” na from one 1938 play wen dem call "Gas Light" na dere e come from .for the play the main character dey manipulate em wife make she believe say she dey kolo .
Gaslighting na form of psychological abuse where dem go lead person to the point wen e go begin dey doubt dia reality, memories, and sanity.
Gaslighting na small small dem dey do am, so e dey cause serious gbege for ways wen nor dey noticeable. E fit happen for relationships and settings, like for romantic relationship, family setting, professional setting , and social setting.
The common strategy
The bottom line of gaslighting na to weaken the victim reality and dem dey use many strategies like denial, distortion ( dem go twist or alter something commot from em true, natural, or original state),
trivialization ( dem go make something look like say e nor dey as important, serious, difficult, etc. pass as e really be ) and blame-shifting.
These strategies dey destroy the victim self confidence and their own perceptions e go come make dem to dey more and more dependent on the person wen dey gaslight dem (gaslighter).
Countering: this strategy go involve questioning the person memory of events or conversations. Example na: “I nor really think say na wetin really happen dat day be dis ,” “your memory nor good again , you sure so?”
Projection: for this one dem go divert attention commot from the manipulative behaviour and go shift blame on top the victim head. The gaslighter go push em mistakes and flaws on top em victim.
Withholding: the gaslighter go refuse to listen to em victim account of event / conversation or e go pretend say e nor understand the conversation. Ex: you dey confuse me, I nor knw wen this one happen.
Trivializing: This one dey happen wen person nor take how another person feel seriously. Dem fit accuse am say e dey “too sensitive”, irrational, or say e too dey overreact for em response to valid and reasonable concerns.
Denial: Denial involve make person refuse to take responsibility for em actions even wen e dey presented with evidence. For dem to do this one dem go pretend to forget wetin happened, or dismiss the accusations say e nor be true.
Diverting: With this strategy , one person go change the focus of the discussion. E go question the other person credibility. For example, e fit say, “this one na just nonsense wen you read for internet. E nor real.”
Isolation: gaslighters dey isolate the victim from dia family and friends to make sure say dem get complete control over the victim perception of reality and to make dem dependent.
Trivializing: this one na way to minimize the person feelings and opinions. Dem go overreact to dia valid concerns, or accuse dem say dem dey too sensitive.
Stereotyping: the gaslighter fit use negative or harmful stereotypes about the person race, age, nationality, gender, sexuality, or ethnicity just to belittling the person or justify dia behaviour to them.
In addition to all these, gaslighting fit also escalate to other, more obvious forms of abuse like threats, intimidation, and verbal bullying.
You be victim?
The first step na to recognize the signs say dem dey abuse you and this one include make you take note of the power dynamics for that relationship.
This one fit dey difficult cos of the gradual nature of the abuse. Once you don observe the pattern, try to confide in good friends / family and seek validation about your feelings from them.
You fit also speak to mental health professional so you go gain clarity and support. Therapy fit help you set boundaries, learn to process emotions, rebuild your self-esteem, and develop coping strategies.
Conclusion
Gaslighting na penetrating form of psychological manipulation wen dey get serious consequences for em victims. If you recognize the signs of gaslighting, survivors fit seek help and free themselves from the abuser. Therapy as well as support from family and friends fit dey very helpful.
