After a pregnancy loss, couples may really have a hard time grieving and readjusting to the new state. For others, moving on almost immediately is the best way to deal with this. As mental recovery from pregnancy loss varies between people, sexual recovery also depends on several personal factors.
First, we must understand that sexual intercourse requires both physical and mental factors to be just right. For a lot of women, mental recovery may happen within a few weeks, but how about the physical? Just because your mind is ready does not mean your body is.
Physical Changes after a Miscarriage
After a miscarriage, you may bleed for a certain period of time to allow your uterus clear itself and the products of the last conception. While this happens, the cervix may open up slightly to allow the products to flow. So, it’s normal for your doctor to tell you to wait until the bleeding stops completely before you resume sexual activity
But the problem here is, an open cervix makes the uterus prone to infections. Even a few days after the bleeding stops, your cervix may still be open. As a result, your doctor would advise you not to insert anything into the vagina for 2 weeks, including tampons - and penetrative sex.
But two weeks is not cast in stone, there’s another factor that could push this wait much longer: the length of the pregnancy.
Early miscarriages are typically associated with quick recovery, as the uterus does not exert a lot of force to expel the small products of conception. However, miscarriages that occur late in pregnancy may require more recovery period.
Late miscarriages may require a surgical evacuation - such as a D and C procedure - of retained tissues of conception. Even after the procedure is done, your doctor may need to re-examine the uterus at a later date to check if all the tissue was evacuated. If tissue still remains, sexual activity could lead to uterine infections, so you have to still abstain from sex until your uterus is empty.
In this situation, doctors won’t ask you to wait for 2 weeks but 6 weeks for your uterus, to heal completely and the bleeding from the miscarriage to cease.
Other doctors simply tell you to wait the entire 6 weeks: they recommend that you avoid sex until the bleeding from the miscarriage has stopped, and you have seen at least one normal menstrual period - which typically occurs 4-6 weeks after the miscarriage.
On a final note, it is okay to not feel intimate with your partner after a miscarriage, it may take some time to get over your loss and this is completely normal. But whenever you feel it’s time to move on and your uterus has returned to its normal state, then it is safe to give it another shot.
