Mrs. Ade noticed any time it's school resumption time, Bola her daughter is always withdrawn and anxious. A few times, Bola had requested if she could change schools, Mrs. Ade dismissed this request as a child not ready to leave for boarding school. Two weeks after, she gets a frantic call from Tinu, Bola’s Friend; Bola was unconscious from being beaten by her seniors.
A Bully can make every day a living hell for a child, from mundane activities such as eating in the school canteen to going on the school bus can be nightmarish. Bullying often has adverse effects leaving a deep emotional scar and can become extremely dangerous if there are threats to life, violent attacks, damage to properties, and sometimes death. Childhood bullying is a frequent societal ill that causes severe mental and physical concerns for both victim and bully. In teenagers, the risk factors are higher; victims of bullies are usually of a different sexual orientation, and have a disability or sometimes a medical condition such as skin or food allergies, diabetes, and asthma.
How Do You Identify Bullying?
There are typically three major characteristics to help identify a bully:
Intention. Recurrence. Power.
Bullying is a behavioral pattern. A bully aims to cause pain via physical attacks, verbal assaults, rejections, and constantly perpetuate these acts towards the victim. It’s been observed that boys experience physical bully, while girls are emotionally bullied. Bullying occurs in schools and recently via social media. The children who bully are perceived to come from influential families or of higher societal strata with positions of power or children who are bigger, stronger, and popular in a group or school.
Who Is A Bully?
A bully could be anyone; a friend, a stranger, a sibling, a parent, or a classmate. In a survey of 1009 students, classmates and friends top the list of bullies at 55%, whilst parents and siblings were the least at 15%.
Most times as parents or guidance, it’s challenging to know if your child is a target, a witness, or the bully themselves. The incessant bullying has increased in the last few decades and its long-term consequences include suicide attempts and random killing. Here are some tips to help us know how to tackle this menace.
Types Of Childhood Bullying
There are four major forms of bullying and they are highlighted according to their prevalence.
Physical bullying includes kicking, punching, constant slaps, and damaging personal properties
Verbal bullying is in the forms of intimidation, racist slurs, verbal abuse, insulting, and name-calling
Social bullying is an intention to damage the victim’s reputation through gossips or cause public humiliation by ganging up with others to do the same, being unkind or nasty
Cyber bullying is the use of electronic means such as phones and computers to spread rumors and attacks via social media. Another form is humiliating someone by exposing personal information to the public online, or trolling by harassment.
The Effects Of Childhood Bullying
There are adverse effects of bullying in childhood for both bullies and victims. The short-term effects are poor academic performance, antisocial personality disorders, poor behavioral conduct, social disengagements, attempted or completed suicide, and substance abuse. The long term effect is mental health conditions, aggression turns to crime, substance abuse (alcohol or drugs), and severe relationship issues
Preventive Measures against Bullying
Not all children are willing to share their experience with bullying but there are tell-tale signs such as being withdrawn, absenteeism, feelings of anxiety and depression, panic attacks, or body pains. Speak to someone in authority if you are being bullied.
As a guardian or parent, converse with your child and once you detect your wards are being bullied, first show empathy as your child has the right to a safe. Seek legal resolve if counsel fails and hold someone accountable for the criminal act.
Preventive measures include educating people about kindness and respect, promoting positive friendships. Also encouraging victims to participate in activities they enjoy will booster self-esteem and confidence. Most importantly, asking victims to speak out as well as punishing those who perpetuate the act will serve as a deterrent for others.
